Advice Request from Client:
No matter how much I sleep or try to take it easy, I feel constantly drained—physically, mentally, and emotionally. I go through the motions at work and in my relationships, but inside, I feel like I’m running on empty. Even on days off, when I try to relax, I can’t really switch off. My body feels tense, my thoughts keep racing, and I end up just scrolling through my phone or binge-watching shows without feeling any better. People around me think I’m just lazy or unmotivated, but the truth is, I’m exhausted in a way I can’t even explain. I don’t know if it’s stress, burnout, depression, or something else.
Why am I so tired all the time—and how do I actually recover?
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Advice from our Doctor of Psychology:
First, let me say this: your exhaustion is real. It’s not laziness. It’s not weakness. It’s a sign that your inner system—your body, your mind, your heart—is carrying more than it was built to bear without proper rest and repair. When we talk about rest, we often think only of sleep. But what you're describing points to a much deeper kind of depletion, the kind that sleep alone can’t fix. This kind of tiredness often comes from emotional overload, unprocessed stress, and a life spent in survival mode.
Let’s explore a different way to understand and heal this tiredness—one that sees your fatigue not as a flaw, but as a signal.
Your Exhaustion May Be Protective, Not Just Physical
Sometimes, fatigue is the body’s way of creating a boundary when we’ve had none. If your mind and emotions have been in overdrive for months—or years—your nervous system may be forcing a kind of shutdown. This is your body whispering, “We can’t keep running like this.” Acknowledge that your fatigue may be a kind of protest against pressure, perfectionism, or over-responsibility. It’s asking you to slow down, not because you’re failing, but because you need care.
Differentiate the Seven Types of Rest
Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith describes seven kinds of rest: physical, mental, emotional, sensory, creative, social, and spiritual. Take inventory: Are you mentally overworked from constant decision-making? Are you emotionally exhausted from caretaking others? Are your senses overwhelmed by constant noise, screens, and stimulation? Pinpointing the specific kind of rest you need is the first step to meaningful recovery. Not all tiredness is solved by sleep.
Create Pockets of Restorative Stillness
When your mind is too wired for rest, you may need to ease into stillness with gentle transitions. Try five minutes of breathing with your hand over your chest. Or sit in silence with soft music and let your body unwind, no performance required. If you can’t “do nothing,” try a low-stakes, immersive activity—like watercoloring, puzzles, or tending to plants. These allow your mind to exhale without needing to be productive.
Stop Mistaking Numbing for Rest
Many of us reach for our phones or shows when we’re exhausted because they offer distraction. But numbing doesn’t equal restoration. Scrolling isn’t inherently bad, but if it leaves you more drained, it’s likely compounding the problem. Notice how you feel after a “break”—do you feel calmer, or more agitated? Choose more nourishing forms of downtime: sunlight, nature, warm baths, or slow journaling. These rebuild energy instead of masking depletion.
Honor the Emotional Weight You Carry
Chronic exhaustion often has emotional roots. Are you holding onto grief, anger, or fear that hasn’t had a voice? Suppressed emotions take an enormous toll on our energy. You might not even be aware of the burden until you name it: “I’m tired because I’ve been pretending I’m okay when I’m not.” Give your feelings space to be witnessed. Talk to someone you trust, or write freely without editing. Let your emotional truth breathe.
Reframe Rest as Worthy, Not Earned
Many people feel guilty resting unless they’ve “earned it” by working hard enough. But rest is not a reward—it’s a right. You are allowed to rest simply because you are a human being, not a machine. You don’t need to prove your exhaustion to justify slowing down. The more you internalize this truth, the more you give your body permission to actually relax.
Seek Support if the Exhaustion Feels Like Depression
If this fatigue has persisted for weeks or months and is accompanied by hopelessness, numbness, or a lack of pleasure in things you used to enjoy, you may be facing clinical depression or burnout. A therapist can help you explore whether your symptoms stem from depression, trauma, chronic stress, or a combination. You are not alone—and you are not weak for needing help.
Please hear this: you don’t have to earn your way out of exhaustion. You’re allowed to rest, to receive, to heal. One breath at a time, one moment at a time—you can come back to yourself.
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