Advice Request from Client:
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m just drifting through life. I go to work, pay the bills, go through the motions, and repeat. It’s like I’m stuck on autopilot, and I can’t shake the feeling that something vital is missing. I see other people talking about their passions, their purpose, their drive—and I feel completely disconnected from that. I don’t even know what I’m passionate about anymore, if I ever truly did. I want to feel alive again, to feel like I’m doing something meaningful, but I’m not sure how to begin. How do I start uncovering a sense of purpose when I feel so lost and numb?
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Advice from our Doctor of Psychology:
What you're describing is something more common than most people admit. Many individuals go through periods of their lives where everything seems routine, hollow, or devoid of deeper meaning. This isn’t a failure or a flaw—it's a signal. A quiet but powerful inner call for reconnection, not just with the outside world, but with your authentic self.
First, Honor the Void, Don’t Rush to Fill It
Most people try to numb or distract themselves from that uncomfortable sense of emptiness. But that space you're feeling—however painful—is also sacred. It means you're waking up. You're beginning to ask the deeper questions that truly matter. Rather than judging or resisting this discomfort, consider it the fertile ground where something new can begin to grow.
Give yourself permission to sit with that feeling of disconnection, to explore it, to name it. What parts of your life feel dull, and why? What roles are you performing because you should, rather than because they feel meaningful? These reflections are not signs of being lost—they are the compass you didn’t realize you had.
Reclaim the Curiosity You Once Had
You don’t need to know your grand purpose tomorrow. Purpose is rarely discovered in a single moment—it’s uncovered through exploration, trial, reflection, and often, unexpected detours. Start small. What activities make you lose track of time? What types of conversations light you up? What topics pull you in, even when no one is watching?
Think of it like dating yourself. Try new things without the pressure of them becoming the thing. Take a class. Volunteer for a cause. Start journaling again. Purpose is often found not in answers, but in the asking—and in allowing yourself to explore with openness.
Let Go of the Myth of the “One True Purpose”
We often romanticize purpose as a singular, shining North Star. In reality, purpose evolves. You are not just one thing. You are layered, dynamic, and constantly growing. Maybe your purpose right now is to heal, to learn to trust yourself again, or to rekindle your creativity. That’s meaningful. Purpose doesn’t have to look heroic to be real—it simply has to feel alive inside of you.
Reconnect with Your Values, Not Just Your Goals
Rather than fixating on what you should do, begin by identifying who you want to be. What values do you want your life to reflect? Is it growth? Authenticity? Contribution? Adventure? Once you begin to live in alignment with your values—even in the smallest of ways—your life starts to feel more cohesive, more yours. Purpose often follows integrity.
Purpose Comes From Connection—With Others and Yourself
Don’t walk this path alone. Meaning is often amplified when shared. Join communities where people are asking similar questions. Speak with a mentor, a coach, or even a trusted friend. And listen to your own inner voice—especially when it’s quiet. It will tell you more than you think, once you start trusting it again.
You may feel lost now, but that doesn’t mean you are. You are on the cusp of rediscovery. And sometimes, feeling like you’re falling apart is simply how we start coming back together—more honestly, more fully, more ourselves.
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